Hello folks!
Well it’s already been two weeks now since I arrived here in Spain and so much has happened. I meant to update this last week, when I was exploring the town but I never got around to it because it felt like I was in a whirlwind of new experiences “nuevas experiencias”.
Okay well I will start with briefly
outlining the 21st of September, which was the day that I left
Manchester. It was an early start – 5 am out of bed..! Mum drove me to the
airport and we got there about 6 because no one was on the motorway that early
(thankfully). My plane wasn’t due to leave until 7:45 so we had a bit of time
to sit and chat before I had to head off through the gates. When it got to about
6:30 I made a move and all of a sudden, instead of just getting on with it and
making those “easy” steps towards departures, I found myself clinging on to my
mum, my ultimate “security blanket” and I began to break down in tears. All of
a sudden it hit me that I don’t feel confident doing this this time. I’ve done
this before and yet this time there was a huge part of me that wanted to just
get back in the car with her, drive home and forget all about this crazy idea
to live in Spain. I felt like I wanted to be 5 years old again – who ever gave
me permission to be a grown up?
She’s an experienced mum though and
she wasn’t about to let me give up so easily. After a bit of teary hugging and
last minute prayers, I made it through the doors a little shakily. After that,
there was a MANIC security queue and scanning my bag took ages, resulting in me
almost missing my flight but fortunately I didn’t. I arrived safely in Murcia
San Javier around 11am Spanish time and then started the long-winded journey to
get to Lorca, some 98km away. Yeah. Talk about provincial. It took me one taxi,
two buses and one train to get to the lovely little town of Lorca. Once there,
I took a few photos at the station whilst waiting for Rúben, who is the son of
the people I am staying with here until I find a place to live. He and his
family are really lovely, warm people and I have to say, I hope that we stay
friends throughout my time here. It already kind of feels like they’re my
family too a bit now.
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| My first tortilla (on the Autobus) |
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| The view from my room |
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| More view |
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| Beer & train station |
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| Exploring Lorca |
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| The "river" |
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| The castle of Lorca (yet to be explored by me) |
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| Katherine! My only other English friend |
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| Diarying in Murcia |
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| Exploring Murcia |
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| Tapas with Rúben (AKA Spanish "sushi) |
One word about tapas: Sushi-like. Just not Japanese, with wasabi, soy sauce or chopsticks. In some places you just go in and choose from a glass container thing what you want - the prices are written above - and you eat what you like! Here I have a shot of gazpacho, tortilla, salmon, chorizo and "ensaladilla rusa" ("Russian" salad).
Since arriving, there have been some
ups and downs with work already. I am employed by the government to work at a
state primary school (Alfonso X El Sabio if anyone is interested) for 12 hours
a week for 8 months (1st October-31st May). That is
legitimate, official and the Spanish government know that I am doing that.
Or do they?
Well that was one of the problems
that I encountered. The day before I was supposed to start work, I went into
the primary school to check everything out, meet some of my classes and do any
paperwork that needed doing (like signing a contract). It turns out that there
were some papers I was supposed to send to the Consejeria de Educacion
(Education govt people of Murcia) BEFORE starting work – and oh by the way I
also need the equivalent of a national insurance number (NIE) before tomorrow
at work.
So it was a lot to take in,
considering NO ONE had told me this, no one had given me any warning about
these requirements that I had to do myself upon arrival. I began to panic
inwardly and outwardly and my mentor teacher said “No te pasa nada – let’s just
get a coffee and think about this”. This relaxed attitude is something that I
have not been able to get my head around since arriving. How can you tell
someone – “Don’t worry about it!” in the same breath as “This is really
important and if you don’t do this by tomorrow you can’t work”? “No te pasa nada” is one of my
favourite Spanish expressions, because it sounds so beautiful, breathy and
carefree and you can imagine someone enveloping you in a cocoon of Spanish warmth
as they tell you this…but…it doesn’t always solve your problems.
So basically it took me two trips to
Murcia (1 hour train ride either way) to get my papers handed in to the
Consejeria, two trips to the bank to pay for a thing called a “tasa” (a paper I
needed in order get a national insurance number seeing as I did not pay for a
visa) and then two trips to the Oficina de Extranjeria, a two and a half hour
wait to finally be presented with the piece of paper that will allow me to be a
real human being in Spain for the next eight months. It contains an important
number which will get me my salary, allow me to open a bank account, entitle me
to social security, etc.
So I will start on Monday now, which
is tomorrow. Watch this space – there will be updates in next week’s entry most
probably about working at this primary school.
In addition to that, I’ve also
managed to find myself another job in the evenings. I wondered before I got
here what I would do with my spare time (as 12 hours “working” is nothing and
the salary is not as high as other countries in British Council) and it was
quite a blessing that this other job opened up. It is teaching English in the
evenings Monday-Friday, 8 hours a week. I have done one lesson there so far
(9-11 year olds) and it seems to be a pretty standard TEFL job but with younger
students rather than adults.
On the whole, I think both jobs are
going to be useful experiences for me. I think it will enable me to see whether
I like teaching primary and early secondary, if I ever do make the step to
become a full-on teacher one day (again – that’s one career choice amidst a sea
of others in my mind at the moment). But mainly, I think it gives me more of a
routine here. The working day is broken up here – it’s technically 9am-8PM with
a break from 2-5PM when families go home, eat together, have a rest and prepare
for the final three hours of work which are later in the day. It is a huge
contrast to England’s 9-5 working day where you don’t really get a proper break
except for lunch which, from my experience this summer, can end up being a bit
work-like because sometimes you don’t even leave your desk.
People mock the Spaniards a bit for
this 2-5pm “siesta” thing but there are some positive aspects to it. For me, it
means that I can finish up work at the primary school by 2pm, have something to
eat then head to the other school before 5pm to prepare my lessons for the
evening and then go home. And then the weekends are free! So unlike the old
life working late into the night as a barmaid from Friday to Sunday –
bleeeurgh.
Anyway, as this next week unfolds at
work, I will get to see what it is like working at both places. Like all jobs,
there will be some positives and negatives but the most important thing is to
be thankful that I have found work.
Since arriving, there have been some
difficult adjustments to make in terms of the culture, attitudes of people here
and language issues. I have been very fortunate to have made friendships
already – there is another girl from the UK called Katherine here in Lorca. She
also works at the evening school. We are sort of in the same boat in terms of
everything. We don’t know much about this region at all and we’ve both
experienced culture shock. For me it’s been especially in relation to the language
– I feel as if I’ve been thrown into the deep end big time with Spanish. I’ve
got a strong base level – meaning I can make myself understood for the most
part and if people explain things clearly and evenly then I can understand. But
day to day, people talk so fast and about 70% of the time I don’t think I
understand. I am having some problems expressing myself in idiomatic
situations, like telling jokes and stories for example. My aim by the end of
the year is to be able to understand gists at least 80% of the time and express
myself more and use idiomatic language more confidently. Bit by bit, with
regular study and practise, these are manageable goals.
When you make the decision to
travel, it has the potential to change you for the better but it also has a
massive impact on you. It tears you away from everything which is familiar and
makes you more vulnerable emotionally.
Even before arriving, as I have
mentioned, I did not feel confident deep down inside. I knew on the surface
that I was capable of doing all the stuff I’ve done before – attempting to
communicate, doing admin, making friends etc – but deep down inside I was
thinking I can’t put myself through this change again, it’s too difficult
emotionally. I want to be in a safe, secure and familiar surrounding where
there’s no risk for me to feel unsettled and vulnerable in my soul.
Those were my initial fears and to
be honest, they are still lurking there. Every other day I am here I think
about what I’ve left behind in England. There’s the career ladder, which sounds
boring but it’s sensible and when I think where I am going in the future, I
panic. There’s people I love and miss, which needs no further explanation. Then
there’s the familiar ground of my own country – although I love being a part of
a foreign culture and integrating into the language and lives of those who are
foreign, there’s something about belonging to a country and nationality that
keeps you pulled together. My life has been so full of moving from here to
there that it just seems normal to have to be on the move constantly – whether
that’s abroad or in my “home” country.
In short, these past two weeks have
been a big challenge to me. I feel totally out of my depth here; more than once
I have felt that I should go home because I don’t understand how this is ever
going to fit all together and make a positive difference to my future. In my
head, I had this “easy life” pictured: a beach, a siesta or two, no language
problems and a sense of security in myself. At the moment, this is not the
reality that I am experiencing. I think I am at square one and there are many steps
to climb in order to make this year count.
There is one thing that holds me
together in this confusing and somewhat difficult time. Although I do feel very
much like I am a bit stranded out in the ocean, out of my depth, feeling like
I’m going to drown under things like this strange culture, language and lack of
“security” on all sides, I know that God is with me wherever I go. This is
something that I have always known to be true, wherever I am, but it has never
felt more reassuring than it does now. I am reminded of a verse that appears in
Psalm 36: 5. It is also in a song by Hillsong called You are My Strength, in Spanish Eres
Mí Fortaleza.
“Your
love O Lord, reaches to the heavens,
Your
faithfulness to the skies.”
“Tu
amor Senor, llega hasta los cielos,
Tu
fidelidad, nunca fallará.”
It’s short and simple but so
powerful. Having this knowledge now, at this moment in my life, gives me this
sense of security when all else around me seems very insecure.
So on that note, I will leave this
blog entry there because it’s already an essay!
Until next time.
xx
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