No
this blog title is not about the BLUES BROTHERS although they are
amazing. Me and my friend Miriam from uni are the Blues Brothers, by
the way:
I'm Jake (below right) and she's Elwood (below left)
This
blog entry might turn into 100 scenes I like from the Blues Brothers.
Here are a few to start with:
A vision from God befalls.
]
HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD (for women like the one in the blue dress)
(and by doing somersaults...)
DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT
I SEE THE LIGHT!
HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD!
(cut to later, five mins before credits, one of the best scenes in all films...)
....
CAR CEMETERY
The church scene in particular scene makes me laugh so much I nearly pee my pants. The
even funnier thing is is that it strongly resembles my church back
home in Southampton, and that's NOT even a joke. There are several of those women like the one in the blue dress with the tambourine...
Hahaha
ok so speaking of Southampton. The truth is, I miss that place. I
actually am coming to the point of my blog title now, which is “I've
got the blues” (not the jazz version, but the sad vibes). I think
it might be homesickness, which is not unusual when you spend long
periods of time away from your family and friends. But this time I
think there are several more reasons why I have hit this wall of
“Bluedom” than I did last summer in France:
- I have now officially left Southampton for good (well, for the year, but I won't be back until September 2014 and by then a lot of my friends will have graduated). It's suddenly hit me now because Southampton has been my home for 2 years now and I really have loved living there (even though perhaps I didn't appreciate it as much as I could have at the time). I have met so many lovely and amazing people in Southampton and it's almost like I have a family there now.
- Next year I am jumping into the unknown once again, which is fun don't get me wrong, but it's a bit unnerving. There's always that bit right at the beginning where you don't really know anyone and everything's a bit strange in a new city and just generally you miss your friends and your old routine.
- The language here has been an issue at times, although I am getting more and more comfortable speaking Spanish by the day. Nevertheless, there are many times when I feel I am just incapable of expressing myself completely and in the end I just go without saying what I wanted to say!
- I miss my family. And I haven't seen them in a while either as Manchester isn't all that close to Southampton, even though that was my own choice!
- I am still waiting to hear back from my school for next year* and while it's understandable that there are hundreds of other assistants still waiting, it makes me feel like I am in transit and I hate not knowing exactly where I'll be teaching, where I'm going to live and what all the costs are going to add up to. In spite of my horrific lack of organisation skills and generally laid back attitude towards life (ask my housemates for more information), I am still someone who likes to have some sense of a plan.
*I
have since heard back from my school!There is still a LOT of
paperwork to be done however. Which does not make life less
complicated.
Okay,
so as for the first point I suppose moving is something that I should
be used to by now. Especially moving countries. And to be honest, I
don't anticipate a huge cultural shock when I get to France because
a) I have already lived in France for a year after all (although in
the complete opposite end of France) b) I have actually been to Paris
before and c) I do actually speak French (to some degree of fluency
as opposed to Spanish..!)
And
the other thing is is that I have experienced culture shock big time
already once in my life and after that experience, moving from
Bangkok to Manchester....well let's just say you can't really get any
more culture shock than that.
So
it's weird. I've never thought of Manchester as my 'home' home, but
for some reason, Southampton has been like a home.
(The oh so beautiful Common...in all its summerdom glory)
So
it occurred to me today that maybe the reason I feel a little blue is
partly because I'm homesick for Southampton, my new home that has
been there for me for 2 years now, but partly because I am unsure
about being uprooted once again for another whole year!
It's
a bit complicated to explain culture shock sometimes, but maybe a
good way to describe an element of culture shock is this: it is a
feeling like you are drifting in a place where you are living. You're
not really part of their world, but you're not really outside of it
in any way.
(Ok
here's an actual definition that I found on some sociology website:
'[culture shock is]...a
sense of confusion and uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety
that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment
without adequate preparation').
Anyway,
that's sort of what I've been feeling here, almost 6 weeks into my
stay. It's inexplicable as to why 5 weeks in I'm feeling this way,
and not in week 1, but I guess I frequently do things backwardly so
that might be why.
In any case, with
social life stuff, I had a very fun weekend. I guess this week I've spent less time with
the family since I've been socialising so much and as a result there
are days when I feel like maybe the family feel I'm deserting them
(particularly the kids). But in actual fact, I'm sure that's not
really the case. This is the way of au pairing: you balance two
lives – life in and with a family that is not your own but a
'temporary family' – and life with new friends and new
acquaintances every week! It's an exhilaratingly fun experience
because when it works, you're learning new things all the time. For
example, with the family you're learning the language (new words and
phrases), customs of the country and generally more about kids and
how they function. (Useful for people like me who are leaning towards
a profession in teaching).
And with your
friends, you're learning new things too, especially if the friends
you make are from countries scattered all over the world. In my au
pair experiences so far, I have made some good friends from all over:
the Netherlands, South Africa, Germany, Sweden, Canada, Macedonia,
Poland...New ways of saying things, new ways of looking at things!
You learn a lot
from being around people whose ways of life are culturally very
different. Of course, this has been a big part of my life; being
around people from different cultures, namely Asians. But I have
learnt and experienced a lot in Europe too, which I suppose I have
just taken for granted over the past three years that I've started au
pairing and travelling about a bit more. And not to mention, having
second languages has really done something amazing to me. Having a
second language is so much more than being able to pass an exam and
having a qualification to get you a job (which is sort of the aim of
education in languages). This is why language students are kind of in
a world of their own, because language students eventually go off and
study their second languages in the context of the country where it
is spoken and from then on, language is not just about learning
grammar rules. It is so much more – culture gets involved. And when
culture gets involved, you open the door to tons of things you can
never learn from a textbook!
I guess what I'm
trying to say is that while this whole experience where you're
learning all these new things in context is fun, yes, exhilarating,
yes, it is also quite tiring. There are days when I just want to sit
back in my own room, in a place where I am settled, with a cup of
tea, surrounded by my things: my furniture, my books, my shoes, bags
and all of my silly possessions. I even miss my wok. I don't know –
there's just something about having all your own stuff in one place
that makes you feel secure.
Every year there
are places I go back and forth to now: Manchester, university and
France (well this summer it's been Spain). My possessions come with
me where I go (or at least some of them) and it's funny because I
definitely can live without them (I'm here now without my beloved
wok) but having them around makes me feel settled. There are some
possessions I have and I think 'Why do I even need own this?' but I know
that throwing it away will make me feel sad.
Anyway, there are
approximately two more weeks left in Mallorca and although I am
looking forward to going home and feeling a bit more settled, the
ironic thing is I know how much I'm going to miss it when I'm gone.
I'm going to miss things like tapas evenings with the other au pairs,
Saturday road trips and beach days and wandering into town to browse
around the shops and visit the cathedral. Generally I know that what
I'm going to miss is the lifestyle. (Maybe that's because I keep
choosing places like Mallorca and the south of France). Even in
the height of winter during my time as an au pair on the Cote d'Azur,
I still felt like I was on holiday.
But the idea for
the next two weeks, in spite of bluedom and sad vibes that might
attack me, sending images of Earl grey tea and my poor little scraped
up wok all alone in the kitchen at home without me, I am going to
enjoy myself as much as I possibly can.
I might as well.
How many more of these fantastically long – four to five month –
university summer holidays are left before I graduate and get a
proper job? Not that many.
(This is my future...)
 |
Daily.
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