Summer Heat Delirium: Do you want strawberry or berry sauce?

Hello all!

So...I feel like having a whine again. About language.

But BEFORE I do that, I am going to express what a wonderful weekend I had (yet again)! And to prove it, there are MORE beautiful photos of beaches.

So on Saturday, Marlena (an au pair I met here) and I went to a place called Sa Calobra – just a little bit further up from Puerto de Sóller, where we went on the YOLO road trip. Needless to say, it was gorgeous. I MIGHT even say it is the most gorgeous beach we've been to yet this holiday.

Here are photos of the water which was clear as crystal (that isn't a joke either).

We had to climb through a cave to get to the beach !

We went with some of Marlena's friends who do this thing called Castellers (in short, human towers). It's some kind of popular thing to do, especially in Barcelona (apparently)! I don't know enough about it to make up any more nonsense.

But anyway, they took us to the beach and we had another great day out, road trip and all...this time with a little too much Britney on the playlist on the way back, but that was the only

qualm...!

Photos of the beach. We got a bit silly after drinking "San Miguel - 'El sabor del verano' ". (It was me who came up with that, sadly).

And this is the beach (WOWOWOW)

Anyhoo. Sunday was quite calm – I went to Palma for church in the morning again and then afterwards because I was alone I went to meet another au pair I've met here for an afternoon hanging out in Palma. We just walked around mostly, went up to the Cathedral and got some nice pictures of the view.

(Here is just a random photo at night from my room. Thought it was pretty.)

Ok...so now it's officially a month into my stay. To be fair, I think I have learned a lot and I am quite capable of communicating in Spanish, however bad it might be. I don't always understand everything though, especially when someone says something quite quickly and then there's a word or a theme I don't understand (because people change the subject quite quickly when they're on a roll, and it only ever affects you when you're listening to a foreign language – something else I've learnt these past few weeks!). However, the annoying thing is is that when this happens – I mean when someone has just finished a whole long speech of half-waffle, half-relevant information – they turn to you and say something like “don't you agree?” or they simply ask you a question to something related to what they've been talking about and all of a sudden you're put on the spot BIG TIME. And usually, you have about five seconds to take all of this in and then try and think of a half-decent response (which you then have to put into WORDS!) and by the time five seconds is up (sometimes sooner) you get the inevitable “Ah...you don't understand, do you?”

ARRRRRRGGGGH.

I can't explain why this annoys me so much. Well, actually I did in my previous post about communication issues. The reason this annoys me so much is because I am a linguist and communication is my speciality. However, this also annoys many people I have spoken to, not just linguaphones (hahaha I made up a word). I think it's because, if you think about it, it's not that you CAN'T communicate, it's just that the person speaking to you can communicate SO MUCH BETTER in that language and what's more, because they can do so, they become completely oblivious to the fact that you really can't. The result is that (often) people suddenly assume you don't know their language.

WHICH. IS. NOT! TRUE!

ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH.

Okay, so if communication is on a functional level (i.e. buses, tourist offices, ordering food) I accept that English becomes the language that is spoken more often than not. But let me just express something that irritates me a great deal further, relating to the fact that my mother tongue happens to be English.

Ok. So English is a pretty useful language to be fluent in. I am certainly glad that I never had to learn English from scratch given that I've now taught it a few times and some of the grammar/spelling rules make no sense whatsoever. But the problem with English is that wherever you go in the world, and I mean wherever you go, it haunts you. (Almost) everyone you meet speaks English to a certain level and they will communicate it to you at some point. This is extremely useful if you are in a country whose language you can't speak. However, if you have been learning a language, dedicating hours of study and interest into comprehending the grammar, spelling, pronunciation and vocabulary and you are FINALLY in that country where you can practise for real, there is something really humiliating about instantly being shoved in the You-can't-speak-the-language-so-here-comes-ENGLISH box before you've even had a chance to prove yourself.

And very, very frustrating.

So, there are times when the bus driver (who, trust me, does not speak a word of English) shouts something angrily at me (it happens a lot and I don't always know why) and when he's off on his merry little rant in Spanish-Catalan, I lose the plot and can't understand. But in those times, I still prefer to just shrug my shoulders and be like “Vale, vale” rather than be spoken to in English. At least I'm blending in a bit.

Many people do not have very much patience with language learners. In England (or English-speaking places) unfortunately, things are worse. Because fewer people are likely to speak Spanish, French, Russian, German, Portugese or whatever, foreigners are forced to use a foreign language (which works to every language learner's advantage). However, if their level of English is limited, impatient English people get pissed off and then simply start slating it instead of attempting to communicate in their language. Which is totally hypocritical, but it is always what happens.

So you can sort of see why the speaking-in-English-to-those-damn-foreigners is a bit like slating someone's language skills. On the one hand, to some people this is a friendly and helpful thing for someone to try and do. On the other hand, only impatient people try and do this when the foreigner is struggling in Spanish – resort to English. Even if the person is attempting their language they think – nope. I'm gonna try and use yours because obviously you haven't got a clue.

There is that wonderful breed of patient and calm individuals who, no matter what, will proceed in the same language without comment or sign of obvious frustration and these people are the ones you learn from the most. Even when I say something absolutely ridiculous, these are the people who will shrug it off and give me a smile.

And the thing is, it's the positive vibes that help. If more people smiled and were encouraging (i.e. patient) with language learners, there would none of this horrible humiliation and frustration and feeling like you want to give up.

Annnyway. I say this because I have suffered through a few more of these humiliating I-can't-speak-Spanish-and-people-have-suggested-English moments this week. In the tourist office, I was trying to ask where a certain hotel was (and I must have pronounced it wrong) and the man mumbled something to me about “estrellas” (stars) which completely threw me off because:

I didn't know why he was asking me about stars.
I wasn't sure if he was talking about the stars in the sky or not.
And even if he was asking about five-star or four-star hotels, it made no sense to me why he was asking how many stars it had. I had asked him where it was, not asking him to quiz my-star-ratings-of- hotels-in-Mallorca knowledge.

And I didn't know how many stars the hotel had. I shrugged my shoulders but then because I was thrown off, of course I began to stammer a bit and I think he took that as I couldn't communicate. He communicated in English after that, but all because of a bloody STAR!

And today a woman in the frozen yoghurt shop asked me quite directly before I'd had a chance to order properly “Inglés or Aleman?” (English or German?). I responded stiffly with “English” which was then quite funny because I decided you know what, I'm gonna have my own bit of fun with the language. I ordered very quickly, mumbling about M&MS and strawberry sauce. She looked confused so I repeated myself more slowly and deliberately and she had trouble understanding.

Then her face changed when I pointed at what I wanted and she said “Oh! But it's not STRAWBERRY sauce, it's BERRY sauce” and then smiled somewhat smugly. “It's the same damn thing,” I muttered under my breath, as she handed me my ice-cream.

I don't know. There are a lot of patient people here and they've put up with hearing my mistakes a lot. And really, I know I'm not the best but I am improving a lot – when I compare it to the start....And I even have started having semi-dreams in Spanish, which is a good sign.

When I go back to France next year, things are going to be interesting. I spoke with the host mum here in French the other day after dinner because we were chatting about her work at the hotel and all of a sudden, we just sort of flowed into French. At first I thought, ah great, this is so much more familiar...

But then, somehow, I found myself unable to communicate properly in that language too. It was as if my brain had put out loads of barriers to all the French regions of my brain and only presented me with the (limited) Spanish vocabulary that I have.

So now I understand why at our university the year abroad programme only allows us to go to one country for the year. If you went to two (or three) you would end up knowing bits two or three languages but confusing them all the time.

Anyway, I have to admit I've been doing quite a bit of clothes shopping lately. It's almost like I can't help it...every single shop is having a sale and of course, there are some shops here that don't exist in England. Even Mango and Zara which are where I've been really going crazy, have a different range of stuff that you wouldn't find in England. Last year in France it was the same. I can never help it in the summer sales.

Anyway we went to a retail park called Festival Park the other day and the kids went to watch a film with the mum and cousins etc while I did a bit of shopping!