This is a
blog post which is very, very late. I realised about a month ago that
it's been about six months since moving to Spain and in that time I
have written two blog entries, in the space of the first month.
My excuse would be that things got busy
but I think it's more truthful to admit that I also got lazy. In the
4-5 months that I have been absent from the blogosphere, there have
been many developments in my life. First and foremost, my first ever
niece was born in November. She is now now about 4 months old and
lives in south Australia with her parents, living it up amidst
kangaroos, koalas and big waves. I have already made provisional
plans to visit this November; just need to find a cheap flight and
maybe Australia will be my next big travel adventure!
In addition to that, my housemate and
fellow cycling aficionado Katherine left Lorca in December. That was
quite sad, but the bike trips will always be in my memory and the
photos will always make me smile. We made the most of three months;
travelled through the mountains and beaches, visited Seville, Granada
and Cartagena, cities with some of the most beautiful
Moorish-influenced architecture and culture that I've ever seen.
Since then I've realised that travelling in the country you're in can
be much more exciting than trying to get to as many places as you can
in one year; with each new city, I can see “Spanish” in the
culture, even if that “Spanish” has variations depending on the
regions.
Since January, Claire my long-time
friend from university has been living with me and the other girls in
the apartment here in Lorca. Unfortunately, there have been some
major issues relating to work. In a nutshell, the Spanish government
has a bizarre and slightly ridiculous system for managing temporary
employment in education. She's been here 2.5 months without being
able to start work and don't ask me why. It's the kind of frustrating
crap that you deal with when you work abroad and try to go through
that country's system (spoken by someone who has done it a few times
now). However, she has officially been given a start date now which
means that I won't be alone here for the next 2 months (hopefully!).
I don't know if I could handle Lorca on my own.
We also travelled to Valencia together
at the end of January, which was an interesting experience. The city
itself is huge; we didn't make it to the beach but we did walk around
the entire city and had one of the most delicious meals I've eaten in
Spain yet. Valencia is THE place where paella is traditional, so
although it might sound cliché, we enjoyed a paella there. And it
did not disappoint.
January is never the most wonderful
month in the year in my opinion. Neither is February. Even in Spain,
it's a bit chilly and generally not as cheerful as spring and summer.
Disappointingly, I experienced a break-up at the end of January, which threw
me into an unsteady state emotionally for a while. Valentine's day
weekend was spent at home in the UK, instead of spending quality time
with the boyfriend. The end made me teary for a while; but no
relationship is ever perfect and long distance ones can bring on
strange emotions. Spending quality time and physically being present
with your other half is so important and sometimes we underestimate,
on a day to day basis how important it is. Skype is great but it
never compares to being able to be with someone physically. That is
something I thought about a lot, on Valentine's day weekend when I
was holding my little niece, singing to stop her crying and
reflecting on the fact that I wouldn't hold her again for almost a
year. Sometimes it feels as though it physically hurts not to be able
to hold or hug someone you love for a very long time. The only thing
that makes that hardship better is that when you next see them; it is
so much more special to be in their presence.
A couple of weeks after my mid-February
trip home I went to Barcelona to see my long-time friend Dora, who I
lived with in Paris. She was travelling there for a holiday and
seeing her again was magical. It was another realisation that
although Skype is a lifesaver, it doesn't do justice to seeing
someone in person; snuggling under a duvet with them watching a film,
dancing around in club or walking along a street laughing like crazy,
which is what you can't recreate in an electronic world.
The week following Dora's visit to
Barcelona, my other long-time friend from university, Husyan came to
visit me. We spent the weekend in Alicante, eating gelato, watching
sailboats in the marina, sunbathing on the beach and doing quite a
few childish things like riding the merry-go-round and using the
swings on the beach. It's okay though, being childish like that
reminds me I'm still not an adult at heart, which is a relief. It was
one of those weekends that left a warm glow with me and the train
ride home to Lorca in the evening sunset wasn't as tiring as usual.
The week after Husyan came to visit,
this week, was the last week of school before Easter. It also
happened to be the weekend my sister Anna came to visit me. This week
feels like it has been make or break time with Lorca. It seemed to
reach a point this week where being here is too much. It feels as if
the months from Christmas onwards have just been getting more and
more difficult psychologically. This is a small, tight-knit community
and if you don't have family or close groups of friends here, it's
difficult to integrate. I always knew it would only be 8 months and
I've done the 6. Since January, I've been feeling more and more
disheartened being out of my comfort zone and by having to maintain
relationships with people who are far away from me.
Over the past few months at work, I've
allowed myself to fall into a trap of not being proactive. For me,
working in a primary school is difficult. It's not like anything I've
ever experienced and I'll openly admit that I am not that keen on
being a primary school teacher. However, I have learnt a few things
about myself in this job and one of them is that I enjoy being around
small children and entertaining them in short bursts but full time is
too much. However, it's no excuse for getting lazy, so I'm going to
try and push myself a little harder at work after the break.
Anna and I stayed in a spa hotel in
Alicante, which was the perfect getaway to celebrate the next stage
of my stay here. First I have the Easter break and I have made travel
plans (hopefully the next post will fill more in on that) and then I
have the last two months which will conclude this journey through
Spain. It has been one of the more difficult times I've spent abroad
which I suppose is why I haven't written much in my blog this time
round. However, I'm determined not to give up. The next two months
are summer months and we'll have the best weather. But more
importantly, I don't want to leave with bitterness about the
difficult things I faced here. This time has been transient,
challenging and at times when I think it is about to get better, it
seems to have gotten worse. In spite of this, I'm determined not to
give up and leave because there's part of me that thinks “If I left
before I'd really given it 100%, given it everything and tried as
hard as I possibly could have, would I one day look back and wonder
what could have been?” I know that when things are bad, they don't
stay that way forever. Carrying on through difficult moments becomes
an essential part of success.
I've really waffled on quite a lot
here. Before I embark on the last two months here, I've got my
travelling week with me, myself and I, which I will update with soon!
Adios for now.
